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Message for Married Folk

A reply to a question my friend recently asked me: “As a single person of a certain age (not an offensive thing), how would you want to feel supported by married people in the congregation?”

The issue brought forth by this question is one an older single friend has wrestled with for years. Watching him go through that, and seeing myself possibly in his position in a few years—“certain age” notwithstanding—I submit this for consideration:

Please don’t treat me as a different class of Person. That is, do not think that because I’m single, that I don’t have wisdom to offer you, or that I cannot understand what you’re going through.

Do talk to me. Don’t just pray for me, but pray with me. Ask me how I’m doing, and also ask me to be a part of your lives, even though you are a “unit.” Share with me your difficulties—don’t just keep it to yourselves. I want you to be a part of my life, to support me through my trials and to rejoice with me through my victories, and I hope you can say the same of me.

Also, my state of singleness is not necessarily something to be “solved.”

Of course, the same can be said from the other perspective, as she replied: “I have a similar problem as a married person in general at times. Single people feel that I can’t understand what it’s like to be single. Or that I can’t enjoy time without other married couples.”

Take heed, singles. After all, married folk were single before they were married.